I would like to talk about the importance of eliminating negative self-talk. It occurs in our minds when we are feeling upset about past problems or feelings, and compulsively obsess on them, instead of solutions. Our minds are a little overloaded, as we spend much of our time listening to our negative chatterbox, allowing the past worries and feelings and stories to control the present. When this happens, we might experience a lot of worry, as a result. When we encounter big changes in our lives, our past is triggered, and we really start to struggle. But there is good news! There are simple ways to combat this negative self- chatter. You can’t control it simply by telling yourself no, because it is still there. Think of your negative chatterbox as a small child, whining for attention. If you ignore him, he will simply scream louder. Ignoring or distracting yourself from the child will not make it quiet down. This is the same way it is with negative chatterboxes. They must be acknowledged, simply saying “ill be with you in a minute,” will help it to calm down. You must manage your thoughts and really take charge. If you don’t, you will feel tremendous amounts of anger, anxiety, and depression. Don’t allow your past to continue dictating your life, follow these five simple suggestions.
1. Don’t Swear! Swear words are the basis of what we tell ourselves. These shaming words and beliefs dictate our thoughts and feelings. They aren’t the ones you have been warned about, but they’re toxic. Lets go over the list of ten, so you can know what you’re looking for.
*Should- I should, you should and the world should
*Ought- I ought to, you ought to, and the world ought to
*Must- I must, you must, and the world must
These three are all rather similar in nature. They put a lot of pressure on you and require you live life in the way you SHOULD OUGHT TO OR MUST not in the way you want to, or could.
*You Make me feel! This is the easiest way to avoid responsibility. This swear word affirms to you, that you are a victim to your surroundings
*What if bad?! When we sit and worry about all the horrible things that could happen, we spend too much time catastrophising over things that have not and most likely will not happen. The anxiety that this swear word brings is very dangerous. A healthy way to combat this is by proclaiming to yourself, “the past is not a predictor of the future, and I choose to live today.”
*Condemning and damning both yourself and others. This really dissipates all hope in yourself and others.
*I can’t stand it!!!
*Maximizing the problems, make them appear larger than they really are.
*I am bad and not worth it.
*All or nothing thinking- 99% nothing
These words can become psychological addictions, and will manifest through physical pains. So it’s important that we stop justifying our thoughts in our minds, and begin processing them.
2. Learn how to Breath- Increasing oxygen levels benefit our abilities to think clearly and feel more relaxed. I suggest breathing as deeply as possible, and counting backwards from ten, slowly releasing the air. This will help calm and release stress. Do this ten times! Repetition is vital!
3. Positive Proclamations- It is very important to say them morning, noon, and night! We need to stop proclaiming the negative thoughts and swear words, and find positive thoughts to replace them with. My personal favorite is I don’t like it, that’s okay, I can stand it anyway! Its very important to say them 25 times, OUT LOUD, because the repetition allows the neurons to move around and create new pathways. Its normal for the first eight to feel like lies. That’s okay, and normal, because you are building new thought pathways! The second set of eight have a real calming effect. The final set, help us realize that, hey! This stuff actually works! Saying positive proclamations will dramatically increase your frustration tolerance, and help you to keep a clear more positive outlook.
4. Talk to a Doctor if necessary. Not everyone will need this, but they can help you find medications that will help you.
5. Come into therapy! It is very beneficial! We all carry deep-rooted feelings of anger and depression; therapy will equip you with skills to combat them! Overcome your anxiety so you are not impeded by it in the future.
Anyone can receive therapy! I accept clients 14+ because all ages have challenges, and a past! Join the practice!
It is no longer necessary to live in the grasp of negative thinking. There are ways to release, let go, and move forward. Navigating your mind into a peaceful happier state.
Author of the book:
Navigating Your Mind: Achieving a Life of Peace, Joy and Happiness
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